Jealousy..

Consider this tips when you're soaked with jealousy.


*Spending time with our empty feelings and loneliness. They can become the bedrock of change supporting self-acceptance.

*A key approach in overcoming jealousy is building up our self-acceptance. Noticing that we're multi-faceted with many positive, neutral, and some not so hot qualities. See our community's self-acceptance learn-in.

*Work with the Jealousy Personality Cluster. Challenge and change any distorted and self-defeating beliefs connected with it.

*Check out your beliefs and integrate those that assume others are untrustworthy. It's really good to practice assuming that others are trustworthy unless they prove different. In this country folks are assumed innocent until proven guilty. Assumptions gut feelings, and jumped to conclusions are especially poor evidence if you have any history of jealousy. Your gut will always validate anything you believe even though no factual evidence exists.

*What you expect you often get. Expect others to cheat and behave like they are and pretty soon they might because your distrusting behavior may help shape their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Folks begin to feel distant and dishonored when others don't trust them. They really might start looking to others for closeness and relationship.

*Accept it when you experience jealousy or envy. You really should feel this way if you're thinking jealous thoughts.

*Recognize that others have the right to choose what they want to do.

*It's okay to want to be close to your partner and avoid a lot of sharing. That may be a spoken agreement between you and your partner.

*Losing a partner is not the end of the world. As adults we can find other sources of love and interest. We can reconnect with our own sources of love and we can treat ourselves in a loving and caring manner. Let that emotional needy and driven quality be fully felt, yet acted upon.

*Neediness is a powerful emotion and produces feelings that can seem overwhelming. This is the nature of a love compulsion. One person is not totally essential to our happiness and security. We have many, many resources, both within us and outside us, to replace what we no longer have.

*If you have a Mistrust Personality Cluster that can be a target for integration and belief change.

*We have no right to control others.

*Jealous behaviors can be repatterned with the Habit Cracker, Pattern Tree, or the Behavior Repatterner from the Emoclear book: "Your Emotional Power".

*If our partners sometimes are not paying attention to us it does not mean we lack worth. Partners certainly can have other interests and diversions.

*Discover how you create your own feelings of acceptance and love. What you need is really inside you, not out there in a trance fantasy.

*Jealousy very much has a compulsive and addictive quality to it. Go feel and integrate the avoided emotions that engender a jealous compulsion.