I was about to put all the details of our date last night but..

But I read Aubrey's blog a while ago, and that made me become disappointed.read . 
Why don't she just keep her mouth shut and never talked nonsense things like that!
She irritates me always. Whenever I check babe's phone, her text messages would make me say that SHE NEVER FAILS TO RUIN MY DAY!

Oh well, we'll gonna change our cellphone numbers and I wish, my man would never ever text her.

WHAT THE FCUK!

Happiness in one night of fun.

Last night we were in SM Mall of Asia. We dined in Sbarro and later had coffee in Starbucks.
We strolled in the seaside and took pictures. I also grabbed the chance to try on the Bungee Fun's version of Bungee Jumping. I was kinda scared and drowsy. I fear heights. I fear elevation! :) But that was a total fun after. My knees were like jellies. My heart was beating too fast. Hahaha.

I'm happy. I hoped that he's even happier. Love.

She's the very reason..

Yeah. She's the very reason why I decided to keep on holding on instead of moving on. I was challenged by her guts. I was threatened by her sweetness towards my babe, that maybe one day my babe will tell me, "It's really over, I love her more than you because she's gaddamn sweet and nice.." 


Oh well, babe told me that he ONLY like her because he treated her as a friend and as a younger sister. Yeah. And me? Ohgadd, I'm still the wife-to-be! :))


I always read her blogs in Tumblr, not because I wanted to see her blogs about my babe, but because I wanted to see how she deals with her everyday life, because I know she's hurting.


I have her Tumblr link, feel free to read her blogs. :) thejasminaubrey.tumblr.com

why don't you just leave US alone?

Hell yeah girl. Why don't you just leave us alone and fix your life? Why do you need to hurt yourself? 

I'm getting confused with your silly actions, is that a sign of being immature? You keep on talking and arguing with me as if you're older than me, but every time I scan your blogs, pure signs of immaturity and desperation's all i could ever read. Please spare yourself with this some kinda shitty hurt, get your ass off and continue with your life. If he likes you, he'll gonna make a move just to be with you, but for now, he's mine so BACK -OFF~

Good Mornight! :*

Thesis mode. Sleepy. Drowsy. Error. Cannot be.
Kaya yan!

Good mornight! :)

Happiness..

Happiness. :)

I'm so happy, and I could feel the love, the sincerity and the fulfilling contentment..
I will always be thankful that he made me happy, I mean the happiest girlfriend ever! :D

He went to our house last night because I asked him a favor, help me check our thesis. We ate dinner with my family, they made him feel that he's welcome. :) We shared our food in a plate, and after that, they bullied me, If I am not mistaken, it was the first time. :)
He stayed in the house till 12am. Twas overwhelming that my parents trusted us. :)
I can't decipher every details of his visit in our house. :)
All I could say is that I am happy. :D

Boyfriend..♥

I feel like I want to dance waka-waka! :))

Yesterday, he didn't went to work that's why he's at home. I went there because I wanted to see him. We did nothing but to laugh, talk and watch television. Hey! We also painted the town red! I mean, we did our routine, to kiss and hug each other. :) 

We're talking about his appearance, he's ranting about his looks, that he's not handsome in my eyes na, he's ugly etc. I told him, "No you're not, you're still the handsomest guy for me, I love you still.." I was amazed when he said.. "Gusto ko na pogi ang boyfriend mo sa graduation mo..(Your boy friend wants to be handsome on your Graduation day)" Yikee! 

I asked him how are we as couples, he said.. "Nothing has ever changed except the fact that I want to remove my fears, for I fear that you'll leave me again.." "Don't leave me.."

Well, it seems I still have him.. Ohgadd, I trust him so much.. :)

my superman..

Happy. Ecstatic. Euphoric. Err. That's me. :))

I'm happy that my efforts were appreciated.. He saved my day yesterday! Twas awesome! :)
I love you babe.. xoxo. :D

Mama never fails..

Yesterday, me and mama we're talking about an issue regarding my ate when I told her:

Me: Ako kaya mama, walang boy friend.. (Serious)
Mama: Wag mo nga akong niloloko diyan, e ano tawag mo kay Jinggoy(Angel)? Wala akong nakikitang dahilan para maghiwalay kayo, kaya tigilan mo ko..
Me: (Smiles)

Sheessh! :))


Next..


A funny but sweet conversation between me and mama during lunch a while ago:

Me: (currently replying to his text messages while eating..)
Mama: Masamang pinagsasabay ang pagkain sa panghimagas.. (Smiles)
Me: Ha? Di kaya.. (Laughs)
Mama: See, masama. Tumatawa ka, di naman ako nagpapatawa..(Laughs)
Me: E kasi naman, alam na alam mo namang pagdating sa kanya, natatawa ako.. (Laughs)

Haay. Si mama talaga.. :)) Alam na alam na pag siya katext ko.. :))



Mama may seem to be the so-called TARUGO girl because she's masungit and mataray minsan, but she never fails to make me laugh or smile.. I love you mama! :))

:D

My biggie love.♥

click then watch. :)

Speedy notes..

Hell yeah. I'm frustrated. I'm mad perhaps.. No! I'm furious..

I wouldn't mind at all if you'll gonna tell me, "Hey, I love you. I love her. What am I gonna do?"

I'll just tell you, "Get your ass off and leave me alone.."

I'll appreciate you, if you'll be honest to me, cause right now I'm seeing a monster in you.. I know you love me.. Well it's easy to say you love someone, but it's hard to mean it.. Really mean it.. If I were you, think it over before you say those words, because those words hurts when it's not for real.. :(

She's hurting, I am also hurting. What will you do? Escape? Continue with this kind of game? Face it. Once and for all, speak up! We're the ones hurting, we even argue because we both want you.. :(

Yeah, I'm the ex-gf, she's the friend turned estranged lover. :(

I love you, go for your happiness.. That's all.. Don't worry about me.. I can stand the pain alone.. Or I should say, we could stand it alone. Yeah.. I hope and I wish that I'm pregnant, so that I could have you forever through the baby.. :(

Back- off!

Hmm.
I read all the blogs that sheś pertaining to my babe. Oh what the fcuk!
Heś saying ILOVEYOU even though weŕe still together! 
Nakakapanghina. All this time, heś just making a fool out of me..
Iǘe loved the guy so much but he just fooled me.

He fooled me. They both fooled me. How I hate them.

Tis is how a graduating student must be..

Graduation day is nearly coming. And it's exciting but the road to success is not that easy.
You must first finish your requirements such as the Ohgaaaddd thesis, On the job training, paper works such as reaction papers, projects, scrapbooks etc. etc. You also need to pass the major examinations and as much as possible keep your records clean.

But for me, I keep my life simple and as it is. I'm not pressuring myself eh? :)
I deal with our thesis lightly eventhough we have a deadline. I'm not yet on the mood to start my reaction papers and the scrapbook. I'm relaxed with the 50 hours that I still need to render with my ojt. I simply enjoy my day doing nothing! :))

I mess with my exams, my professors and even cut classes.

Well, for me..
It's okay to prioritize your studies most specially if you're a graduating student, pressure yourself if you want to, but hey! Have a life! There's a much more exciting life outside the school! :)

You may say that I am a happy-go-lucky person. Hahaha! But though I'm like this, I don't fail my subjects and I'm enjoying my college life as well as my social life! :D


:)

The love of my life..

I love you - those three words

have my life in them. 

Yeah. So madly in-love with my ex- boy friend. After almost three years, I could say that I am pretty sure that I'm really in love with him. If God will still grant us another years, I would make him the happiest man ever, because I know he'll also do the same.

Everyday I thank God for giving you to me. 

Through ups and downs, you were there, smiling and telling me that, "Don't give up, I'm still here!"

Through our differences and similarities we stand out to be unique and special to the lives of each other.

We may fight a lot, but I know after that, we still love each other.

I know it's not too late for me to say this. I love you so much. I really do. :(

Jealousy..

Consider this tips when you're soaked with jealousy.


*Spending time with our empty feelings and loneliness. They can become the bedrock of change supporting self-acceptance.

*A key approach in overcoming jealousy is building up our self-acceptance. Noticing that we're multi-faceted with many positive, neutral, and some not so hot qualities. See our community's self-acceptance learn-in.

*Work with the Jealousy Personality Cluster. Challenge and change any distorted and self-defeating beliefs connected with it.

*Check out your beliefs and integrate those that assume others are untrustworthy. It's really good to practice assuming that others are trustworthy unless they prove different. In this country folks are assumed innocent until proven guilty. Assumptions gut feelings, and jumped to conclusions are especially poor evidence if you have any history of jealousy. Your gut will always validate anything you believe even though no factual evidence exists.

*What you expect you often get. Expect others to cheat and behave like they are and pretty soon they might because your distrusting behavior may help shape their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Folks begin to feel distant and dishonored when others don't trust them. They really might start looking to others for closeness and relationship.

*Accept it when you experience jealousy or envy. You really should feel this way if you're thinking jealous thoughts.

*Recognize that others have the right to choose what they want to do.

*It's okay to want to be close to your partner and avoid a lot of sharing. That may be a spoken agreement between you and your partner.

*Losing a partner is not the end of the world. As adults we can find other sources of love and interest. We can reconnect with our own sources of love and we can treat ourselves in a loving and caring manner. Let that emotional needy and driven quality be fully felt, yet acted upon.

*Neediness is a powerful emotion and produces feelings that can seem overwhelming. This is the nature of a love compulsion. One person is not totally essential to our happiness and security. We have many, many resources, both within us and outside us, to replace what we no longer have.

*If you have a Mistrust Personality Cluster that can be a target for integration and belief change.

*We have no right to control others.

*Jealous behaviors can be repatterned with the Habit Cracker, Pattern Tree, or the Behavior Repatterner from the Emoclear book: "Your Emotional Power".

*If our partners sometimes are not paying attention to us it does not mean we lack worth. Partners certainly can have other interests and diversions.

*Discover how you create your own feelings of acceptance and love. What you need is really inside you, not out there in a trance fantasy.

*Jealousy very much has a compulsive and addictive quality to it. Go feel and integrate the avoided emotions that engender a jealous compulsion. 

green with jealousy..

Green means jealousy right?

Now you know..

I'm jealous. I'm super jealous.

The name of the suspect is Apol.

She's a co-worker of my great love.

She's a friend and even a text mate.

I sometimes read her text messages and I find it mushy.

Mushy and cheesy. Rawr!

I can't really react in front of him, well I'm just the ex-girl friend. Period.

That's why I'm blogging right now so that I could release my stupid feeling.

I'm stalking her Facebook profile since then. I read her wall posts and comments on the status' of my babe. Err. Cheesy! I even read a comment a while ago, she's saying her thanks to him. I wonder why. Maybe, just maybe, they talked hours ago. Hmm. It's okay. That's the only thing I could say to myself, and always remember that I'm just an ex-girl friend. Period again.

If he'll like her, fine. But, really as of now, I'm jealous. Green with jealousy. :(

Cheer me up babe! I need you! :(

So green with jealousy.. 

Fcuk!

Yea. It was ruined. Youtube failed me! Rawr! There's no sound effect! Err!
I waited for an hour but sheesh! Tssk.
You failed me! I'm annoyed!

All I have to give..

Sabi nila..

Ang gwapo ni Angel ha, ikaw pa nanunuyo ngayon!! Winner! :)


Naks, true love ba yan o obsession?? <3


Sana mapansin niya lahat ng efforts mo.. :D


I wish you good luck, he's lucky enough to have you.. :*


Well, giving efforts to someone whom you deserve is not that bad.. 


GOOD LUCK! And please, take care of your self, while you're giving you're 101% efforts just to have him back! :))


Soo sweet of my friends. :D

Hmm.. I'm listening to the song of Backstreet Boys.. "All I have to give.."
The song was actually dedicated to a girl, but I still wanted to dedicate it to him..

But my love is all I have to give 

Without you I don't think I can live 

I wish I could give the world to you...but 

Love is all I have to give 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN0SaNiAhvk

February 21, 2011. :D

Hmm. I'm downloading my surprise for him.

Processing.. Loading.. :D

Youtube? Faster!

She called. I answered the call.

Twas Sunday, and it's our day, just like the old times, to spend the day together, either in our house or vice versa. We decided that I'll be going in their house. The usual thing happened. We talked. Kissed. Hugged and laughed. While watching Street fighter, naalala niya na maglalaba pala siya. I did the laundry, konti lang naman yun. Napapaisip nga din ako e, eto pala yung feeling pag mag-asawa na kami, every Sunday ganun ang routine naming dalawa, at enjoy yun! :)

Then nahiga na kami. Nanunuod na kami ng NBA. After nun, meryenda. Nagluto kami ng instant noodles. After nun, naisipan naming matulog. :)) Nagising ako kasi tumunog yung cp, I thought it's my phone, nagulat ako sa kanya pala yung may tumatawag, tutal tulog naman siya, tiningnan ko.. Err. Aubrey's calling.. I answered the call..

Me: Hello.
Aubrey: Sino to?
Me: Irish. Bakit?
Aubrey: Gusto ko lang makausap si Luis.
Me: Tulog e.
Aubrey: Ok, tell him I called.
Me: Cge.
Aubrey: Ingat ka Irish.
Me: Ok.

End call.
Err.

Nakakatawa. He asked me, sino tumawag, I told him na si Aubrey.. Kibit- balikat lang siya..

Nyweis, I don't care much na.. I don't even care kung tatawag o magttext pa siya o kung sasagutin ni Angel yung text o tawag.. It's up to him naman ee. And I know, he won't hurt me that much again.. I know my place in his heart, so I'll just trust him with that matter..

:D

goodnight kiss.. :*

Adventure na ang trip naming dalawa.. Yeah.. :)

For the first time after almost three years of being together, I sneaked out last night just to see him and gave him a quick peck on his lips.. :* I went home tired, happy but BITIN. hoho.

Bitin..

Lagi na lang bitin ang feeling ko after naming magkita.. Tssk.. E parang bumalik na kami sa dati naming gawain, ang magkita everyday..

Bitin ang feeling, e kasi kahit magkasama na kami from 5:30pm till 8pm yesterday, naisipan pa rin naming magkita nung gabi ding yon..

Bitin dahil naalala ko na, nung isang gabi din magkasama kaming nag-dinner at tumambay..

Bitin dahil hanggang ngayon namimiss ko siya.. Oh! I want to see him.. I want to kiss and hug him everyday.. :D

Ganito siguro ang epekto ng love.. :))

:))

Sobrang daeng nangyare. Guess what, di ko ginive-up yung feelings ko for him.
Maraming ngyaring maganda.. Sana magtuloy-tuloy na.. :)
I dont want to assume and expect but as of now, he just made me HAPPIER than last month.. :)

Angel and I will always be this comfortable with each other.. I know that the feelings will never fade..
And as for Aubrey, well, she chose to be in this situation, everybody suffered and I hope, she'll be okay.. just like me.. I'm trying my best to be okay.. She's a fighter, she's strong, I know she could handle her remorse. :)
For Apol, Hmmm. Back-off! :)


Happy. Happy. Happy. :)

:(

Di ko na alam kung ano o sino papaniwalaan ko.
Yeah. This night, I'll tell him that I'm quitting. Yeah. Right.
I quit.

Bahala na sila nan babae niya..

Tired

Nakakapagod. Kanino ko ba siya pinaglalaban?
Ou nga, hiwalay na kami.. Pero yung pagmamahalan namen, alam ko namang di nawawala pa..
Yun ang alam ko, kaya nga lumalaban ako. Kanino?
Bakit ganun?? Takot lang siya saken, pero bakit ngayon ang nararamdaman ko, AKO ANG NATATAKOT SA KANYA??
Natatakot ako na iwan niya ko, dahil sa babaeng yon.
Natatakot ako na kung magiging kami, magkaproblema ulit kami nan tulad netong problema namen.
Natatakot ako sa mga pwedeng mangyari? Oo, mahal ko siya. Sobra. Pero bakit parang ni katiting nan pagmamahal kong yun para sa kanya e walang bumabalik??

Sana naman, alam niyang masakit. Sige, iwan mo na lang ako. Mas mainam pa, tutal ngayon pa lang, iyon na pinaparamdam niya. Amp. Napapagod na ko. T.T
Ayokong bumigay, pero feeling ko yun yung hinihingi niya saken. :((

yea.

Masaya. Malungkot. Ayoko na. I hate this feeling.
Mahal mo ba siya? Mahal mo ba ko?
Putangina. Wag mo kaming pahirapang dalawa.

Ayokong maging last option mo, dahil ikaw lang yung option ko!
Putangina ulit.
I'm pretty sure, pinasaya mo lang talaga yung bday ko.
At tangina. Ayoko nun. Tangina.

Ako na lang ang lalayo.. Swear..

Lovesongs.

As of now, nakikinig ako nan mga kanta.

And fuck! Yun lang ginagawa ko ngayon. I need to do this. I need to escape from the pain.

I need to entertain myself.

Fuck be with them.

Fuck them. Die in hell, PLEASE!

But before that, let me slap your face bitch! And as for you ALB, hope your happy with that bitch! Fuck you!

--------------------------------------

 I want to explode! Fuck!

Wasted. T.T

I get it, he's doing it to just make me happy, JUST BECAUSE IT'S MY HELL BIRTHDAY! Fcuk you!

Fcuk you!

I hate being humiliated! And this is too much! I can't understand why you guys need to hurt me like hell!

Go to hell! Go to hell! Stop hurting me like I'm just a NOBODY!!!

I'm also a human, capable of being hurt! Fcuk you!

If given the chance, YEAH! I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE TWO OF YOU DIE!

This is too much! I can't take it anymore!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sana lahat nan ginagawa niyo sakin, bumalik sa inyo! Oo, I know may kasalanan ako, pero hindi ko deserve yung ganito! Hindi! At wala kayong karapatang ganituhin ako! OMG! I still want to live my life, but it seems pati yun gusto niyo nan kunin sakin!! Napakaselfish nio! :((

Hindi ko alam kung anung gagawin ko. Technical knock-out na nga ako. :(

At kayong dalawa na nanalo. Talunan ako. Ok. Fine.

Hmm.

My first blog for my new account. lol. :P

Actually, my initial plan was to put anything and everything in here, but oopss! This is a public blog, I should not over- expose myself too much. :)

Anyways, uhmm.
Err. Ugh. Blank.
Di dapat ganito! Hahaha! Marami naman akong naiisip! Marami akong gustong sabihin! Pero ayaw kong ilagay! :D

Hahahah! :))

Okay, lemme try.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We just finished our last midterm exams a while ago. Err. Hindi mahirap. Easy lang. petiks, pero nagkaroon ako nan maliit na problema, na-blangko ako sa last exam, 2:40pm na kasi, dapat nagteteks na siya, err. Pero hindi. Kakayamot kaya! :(( Pero ok lang. Chillax. :D While taking the exams, nag-ssound trip ako. Hahaha. Nakikinig ako nan kanta ni Tamia. Yung Almost..

You're all that I ever wanted & you're my everything yes its true!
Boy its hard to be close to you,
My love
I know it may sound crazy
But I'm in love with you

Lalalalalala. Pati na rin yung kantang Guilty.

If loving you with all my heart's a crime -
Then I'm guilty..

Hahahaha! Nakakatawa talaga! Buti nakasagot na ko.. Masaya na ulit.. Kala ko mag-ccram ako kasi delayed ako nan 2exams dahil sinugod ako sa doktor, nun isang gabi, yun pala hindi naman. Chillax pa rin. :) Well, obviously, siya pa rin ang nasa isip ko while taking the exam, I promised myself na siya ang magiging inspiration ko sa lahat nan gagawin ko, good or bad. Jk. :) Wala man siya o anjan, siya lang. Oha. :D

Well, sana lan masaya siya ngayon. :)